Today I just cried. Pretty much all day. The sadness surrounding our nursing situation is some times so overwhelming. Some days are okay but today is jut hard. It seems sometimes like he is getting worse.
I met with a lactation consultant Jennifer Tow,one of the leading people on tongue ties via Skype. She thinks there may be a few reasons for Lane's issues. First she thinks he may still be compensating by using different facial and neck muscles that haven't yet been released by chiropractic or cranioscaral. I had the cranioscaral lady, who also happens to be a friend who comes to my house to do it ( totally lucked our on this one) talk to jennifer before a session. Jennifer was able to tell the chiropractor what muscles are usually tight and need release on a tongue tie baby. I am hoping this will he him chomp less and suck more. He is very tight on the left side of his neck and jaw. she also had me learn to rub his pterygoid (a muscle of the jaw). She also wants us to be using a at breast supplementer. I bought the lactaid but his suck is still not good enough to draw the milk out of it effectively. Plus it is a pain and I feel like his latch is so bad on it. The next thing she wanted me to try was the medela sns. It runs more on a gravity flow. We are still struggling very very much with it so we have resorted back to finger feeding and squeezing his cheeks at times. I am always fearful he is not getting enough food and I know he is struggling because he is still very sleepy. Some babies deal with not having enough to eat by shutting down.
Jennifer and I also talked about my milk supply and how to increase it. She wants me to continue moringa, goats rue (she said this on was especially important for my grandular tissue), more milk, marshmallow root, and milk thistle. She also wants me to add in shatavari, anise seed, and a pregnancy tea made by a former client of hers. Yes, it's a lot of pills!
Lastly, we talked about the possibility of his tie reattaching or a submucousal cleft. Either way would be so difficult so I am hoping this is not the case. After ten weeks I am tired!! Unfortunately I am not ready to give up yet. The thought of giving up is too hard. It gives me a sense of anxiety, sadness, and guilt. The thought of giving formula makes me sad and the thought of continuing this way makes me equally sad and anxious. Really it is a no win situation. That little tiny and faded glimmer of hope is keeping me going one day at a time.