Thursday, October 27, 2011

Guilt and Mommyhood

Do guilt and motherhood just go hand in hand? It was a question asked one day in my mom's group. According to many of the women attending, they do. It was refreshing to talk to other women about this because it is something that I believe we all struggle with from time to time.

 Lately, I have been feeling guilty about not continuing to try and breastfeed more. I know that I did the best that I could and after 5 1/2 months I just couldn't do it anymore. I did the whole pumping thing but I still felt bad about not being able to nurse her. And when people ask me if I am still nursing I get sad when I have to say no. If they are bottlefeeders they give me the "well, its okay breastfeeding is hard for almost everyone" and if they are die hard lactivists they give me a look that says well if you would have tried a little harder or hung in there a little longer it might have worked. Both responses make me feel sad. I know breastfeeding isn't hard for everyone and alot of times if you stick it out for awhile things will get better and I know that. But I feel I did the best I could in the situation given to me.

So I guess the question is why do we feel guilty? If we know we are doing the best we can why do we still feel that way?

While I don't necessarily have the answer for you, I have some thoughts on why guilt can be a good thing. I believe having some feelings of guilt means we care. It means that we want the best for our children and being imperfect people we cannot always give them the best. However, I also believe we should not let guilt consume us. We need to realize that we did and are doing the best we can in the situations given us. And I am trying to take my own advice!


  1. Oh I know that mommy guilt well Megan! I think we experience it because we feel we don't measure up to the other moms around us! I too have to work often!! ((hugs))

  2. An "experienced" mommy acquaintance of mine (she has 17 kids) once gave a talk about how Satan uses shame and how God never does. As in, when we've totally blown it, Satan whispers (shouts?) "You're a failure. You screwed up BAD. Your kids deserve better than you." We know that our Heavenly Father would never speak to us that way--He speaks to us in love saying, "You need to go make it right with that child." Of course, none of what I just said has anything to do with nursing and your situation :) but it has helped me so much when I struggle with Mommy Guilt over so many other things.
    You are a WONDERFUL Mommy, Megan, and Scarlett is blessed to have YOU!