Being a Mom with a baby who doesn't breastfeed well is taxing. Somedays I seriously feel as if I am going crazy and all I do is worry about her weight and my milk supply. I try to keep a positive outlook, but somedays it is just about all I can do to make it through the day. Somedays, well okay if I am honest, most days I dislike breastfeeding so much. I dread having to feed her sometimes because my nipples are so sore, and I hate myself for dreading it. After 4 1/2 months of this I am tired. I am tired of nursing for 30min, bottle feeding, then pumping. I am tired of never being able to go out anywhere or get anything done because my whole day is spent feeding her. Somedays I wish I didn't care so much about breastfeeding so I could just give her formula.
However, I just need to keep reminding myself that someday she will be so much healthier because of my choice to keep breastfeeding. I am learning that in order to be a good parent you sometimes need to sacrifice your needs for the needs of your child.
I am hoping that someday it will get better and she will just latch herself on, nurse, and be done. But even if that never happens and I have to continue what I am doing, I know that I will never look back and regret my choice to continue breastfeeding.